The Oprah Effect

THE STORY 

In October of 2011, my wife and I signed up for a satellite network subscription. Along with the subscription, we were given a bunch of new networks to watch on a trial period basis.  One of those was the OWN Network.  This was Oprah Winfrey's first year with her new network and she was still looking for ideas for new shows, unique guests, and new topics to explore. My wife and I had settled down for the evening and decided to explore our free networks out of curiosity.  We have always liked Oprah Winfrey and thought she was very inspirational.  Her new network was a bit raw in many ways but found the shows to be reflective.  We began to watch the first episode of a new show called Lifeclass.  The show was designed to be a program that was meant to be discussed after the program with friends or family.  It was a great way for people to constructively talk about topics they might normally shy away from. From the moment the Show started we felt hooked.  For you fellas out there... If you ever find a TV show that both you and your wife like together; watch it.  Its a rare thing to find something you both like.  So we did.  

After watching the first episode my wife said that I should try to find the website for the Lifeclass show and sign up for our Lifeclass Journals.  The journals were a way to participate in the discussion at home by your self or with a group.  When I saw the website I noticed a spot where it said, "If you like the Oprah Lifeclass show, send us a video and tell us what you think.  By this time it was 11 )'clock and I was in my home recording studio like usual.  I thought to myself, "Why should I just say something?  Afterall, I'm a songwriter I should write some music or something".   So I took a look at all the topics for all the shows for the first season, and found a creative way to put them together into the words of a song.  I wrote a melody and put some guitar chords to it, and before you knew it, I had a song called, When You know Better.  The chorus of the song was a quote by Maya Angelou, a famous author and poet that was a favorite of Oprah's. The quote said, "When you Know Better, You do Better."  I thought this was a great quote for me personally.  It means something like this; when we make a mistake we should remember what we did wrong and figure out tools to help us do better the next time around.  And afterall, I've made plenty of mistakes, so I know that making mistakes is easy. Learning from them and trying it again, is the hard part.  

So I finished the song, recorded a simple version of it in my studio and then made it into a video by putting a slideshow of family photos in the background.  I wasn't worried about having it be too fancy because I truly believed that it was 11 O'clock at night and I didn't believe anyone looked at this stuff anyway. Well, turns out, I was wrong.  Three days later I was sitting in the kitchen with my wife and the phone rang. the phone caller ID said, Harpo Inc. We knew right away that that was Oprah company and picked up the phone.   

They told me that they heard my song and Oprah loved it, she wanted to have me sing the song on the next episode, and by the way, they wanted me to do it LIVE on camera.  And because I didn't have time to think about how terrifying it was, I said yes. Of course I was terrified to sing live on the show, but my wife was incredibly supportive and the production staff made me feel completely at ease.  

People always ask me about the Oprah Effect.  The Oprah Effect, I guess, is some kind of effect that happens after people have been on Oprah Winfrey.  These people seem to see success overnight and undergo complete transformations. Well, I'm not sure about all that.  I'm still the same guy in alot of ways that I always was.  I'm not rich.  I'm not ultra famous. But I have to admit that ever since I was on Oprah, some things about me have been dramatically changed for life.  Here are some of the ways I have changed: 

First, and most importantly, is that I am not longer afraid to try.  And that means just about anything. I realized that after I was on Oprah I was no longer afraid to reach for my dreams.  I was no longer afraid to fail.  I was no longer afraid to share my songs in public or even believe that I was worthy of stardom.  For most of my life, I thought that I wasn't a big star because ridiculous reasons like maybe I was too fat, too old, from too small of a town, or just not good enough.  But all the excuses I gave myself for so many years no longer made sense.  Because if I was good enough to sing on Oprah, I must be good enough to reach my dreams as well.  Since then, I don't think I have said no to hardly any opportunities. It's freeing really. 

I used to be so worried about what other people thought of me.  But the next thing that changed was that I no longer cared what other people thought.  I stopped listening to the voices of the people around me when they told me things that I knew weren't true.  I started listening to my inner voice, and more often than not, my inner voice has been correct.  

The last thing is all about confidence. When you stop listening to the negative people around you and you stop being afraid, you find an incredible sense of confidence. I went from the guy who asked "Why me?" Why do I deserve to be famous?  To the guy that said, "Why not me."  And like Robert Frost Said, "And that made all the difference."   

So, is there an Oprah Effect?  Maybe.  Or maybe I'm just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz; I had the power within me all along. All it took was the experience of being on Oprah to make me believe I was worthy of success.      

THE SONG

When You Know Better (Dedicated to Oprah) 
by Scott Wilcox (c) October 20, 2011 

I let go of my ego
When I held my newborn child
I let go of my anger when I looked into their eyes
I've found that I've become
What I truly do believe
When I heard you say to me
The truth shall set me free

Oh I've taken a knock or two
But when you know better, the better you do
I got the hope to make it through, because of you
But you've been there all along (Oprah)
So now I'm givin' his song, to you.

How my joy is rising
I've become what I believe
With my age I've found the time
To appreciate true beauty
No one else can take the blame
For the life I've had to live.
It seems I've had the strength to take
Give me the strength to give.

Babysat by Tina Turner

As I mentioned briefly in my previous blog, my father was a radio disc jockey for 30 years. Seventeen of those years, he was married to my mother. I wasn't just the son of a disc Jockey, we were a DJ family. Regularly we were recruited to participate in promotions, walk in parades, or share our rooms with travelling musicians or influential people coming through town. I remember in 1977 a musical group called Up with People came to Omaha to do a concert that was sponsored by my dad's station (KOIL-AM Omaha, NE). The group's hotel reservations fell through at the last minute and they had no place to stay. My dad volunteered our home to house more than 50 college students who sang with the group. It was so much fun having all these kids laying on the floors in every room of our house. They sang songs, told stories and we got to have lots of treats!

But by far the most interesting guests we had at our home was Tina and Ike Turner. This is a short Tina Turner story told to me by my father, Gardner Wilcox.

THE STORY

My father was a radio disc jockey for many years. He started working on the radio in the Air Force during Vietnam. Most days he said his job was pretty boring, read the news, sit around, read the news... but every once in awhile he was asked to introduce musical acts for the USO tours. Most of the acts he introduced were not famous, just good performers that got the chance to perform on the USO circuit. But every once in a while someone famous would come through. This time it was Tina and Ike Turner.

Before the concert my dad was waiting in the wings; waiting to introduce Tina and Ike. While waiting Tina Turner come up behind my dad and started small talk. After only a few minutes they began laughing like old friends. Tine said to my dad before they went on, "Gardner, when we all get back to the states, I hope we can meet up sometime for a dinner". Dad said that would be great... but in his mind he realized that it would probably never happen.

Fast forward several years later. My dad was working as a commercial disc jockey in Omaha Nebraska for an AM station. Back then, AM and rock was king and dad was the leading jock in town. So dad always introduced the stars when the did concerts in Omaha. Eventually, Tina and Ike's tour came to town. The moment Tina saw my dad she said, "Hey Gardner, what about that dinner?" Dad was shocked that she remembered him. He laughingly said, "I would love to. But where would we go? The concert will get over at about midnight and nothing will be open." Tina thought about it and said, Why don't we just hang out at your place for a bit and catch up on old times?" So my dad called my mom and said, "Hey do you mind making something to eat for after concert? Tina and Ike would like to come over." Dad said mom was shocked. All the while the concert was happening, my mom was cleaning the house, dressing my sister and I up in our best clothes, and trying to cooking something nice for a couple of legendary rockstars.

When my dad, Tina, and Ike arrived at the house, Tina and Ike were already arguing loudly. My mom was working in the kitchen to finish supper and my sister Lisa, who was 4, wanted to help. Somewhere in the chaos, my sister accidentally burned her had on the stove. In fact, bad enough that she needed to go to the ER. So my sister is screaming, Tina and Ike are screaming, and my mom and dad are trying to figure out how to calm things down and get my sister to the ER.

Ike finally had had enough. He stormed out of the house, leaving Tina with no way to get back to the hotel. My dad was then pressured to frantically try to figure out how to get my sister to the ER, Tina back to the hotel, and someone to watch 2 year old Scotty in the process. Finally, Tina says, "Stop!" "Here's what you're going to do. You and your wife will take Lisa to the ER, take as much time as you need, then when you get back, you can drive me to my hotel. And while you are gone, I'll babysit Scotty." And that's exactly what they did.

Fast forward 7 years later. My dad, on a fluke, runs into Tina at the Denver Airport. The first thing she said to my dad was, "How's my baby?"

God speed Tina. You were a great babysitter, and an amazing human being.


THE SONG

America
by Scott Wilcox © 2008

I was born in Ohio the son of a radio man
My father fought for his country in a country called Vietnam
I was raised on the highway living in a moving van
Now I was born in this country and this country is who I am

America is the thrill of hope, The hope that we’ll all be free
The sparkle in a little ones eyes the first time that they see, America

I was raised in the heartland, Wisconsin suits me fine
But I still travel the USA, following that dotted line
I’ve been down to Mobile, North to the Alaska Range
Though the faces are always changing, the country remains the same.

America is the thrill of hope, The hope that we’ll all be free
The sparkle in a little ones eyes the first time that they see, America

Now I am a father, daddy to three fine kids
I am able to raise them due to the fighting that my father did
My grandpa was captured by the Nazis in WWII
What will you give for your country, for all its given to you?

Its my hope that we can get to know each other better through sharing of my stories and my music.  To purchase my music you can go to my website at www.scottwilcox.com or you may find it on Spotify.  

I truly need your support so please consider booking me for a show near you by emailing me at songwriterscottwilcox@gmail.com You can also help by following my Facebook page @songwriterscottwilcox

Introduce You to the Weaver

THE STORY

Introduction to me.

My name is Scott Wilcox; my friends call me Scotty. This first blog is just an introduction, so that you can get an idea of who I am, what I do, and why I chose to create this blog. There are hundreds of thousands, possibly millions of blogs on the internet and I would be stupid to tell you mine is different than all the rest, so I won't. But what I will tell you is that my hope is to make you think, make you feel something, and possibly rekindle your belief in music with a soul again. So without further adieu, here is my story.

I grew up as an Air Force brat. My father was in the military when I was very young where he learned to be a radio disc jockey. After the Vietnam war dad finished out his service in Alaska, where they had my sister, then in Ohio at Wright Patterson AF Base where I was born. After the Air force he went into commercial radio and made a habit of moving our family from town to town, up and down the dial, just like it says in the theme from WKRP in Cincinnati. In fact, in the 17 years my parents were married, we moved 21 times. My dad was sort of pseudo-famous for his time, especially in the 70’s when AM radio was king. He seemed to know all the famous stars. I remember the day my dad met Jerry Lewis during the Muscular Dystrophy telethon. Dad knew Ed Bachman from Bachman Turner Overdrive (BTO), Tina Turner, Wolfman Jack, and probably many others. It wasn’t unusual to have a star just pop into the house to say, “Hi”. But life wasn’t always happy for my father, he always seemed restless. He always seemed to feel like there was a better opportunity just over the horizon, somewhere in the next town. So we kept moving. Eventually, my mom had had it. She wanted us kids to grow up in one place long enough to make friends and build relationships with our family. So we moved to Tomah, WI. Tomah was a small community in Southwest Wisconsin with a population of 5,600 in the late 70’s. Because I was just a 12 year old kid at the time, I had no idea how unhappy my father was. He felt trapped. It wasn’t long before he needed to find a way out; and it didn’t include us. One night, my father got a call from my grandmother in Florida. She told him that nd Ex-girlfriend of his was living in California and going through a tough time. Maybe he should give her a call. So he did. Whatever happened on that phone call changed all our lives forever.

One December night when I was 12 and my sister was 14, my dad had an argument with my mom at 2am. He thought we were upstairs asleep, but I remember that night like it was yesterday. He grabbed a few of his things, walked out the door, got in his truck, and left. He never came back.

None of us are normal. We are all flawed. We are born these tiny little perfect creations and then life shapes us and changes us with each positive and negative experience. We are then given a choice. We can become the person the world expects us to be, or become the person we choose to be. I chose to not let my past define me. This experience I have just shared is by far the worst in my life. Sharing this with the world was not an easy choice for me but I felt that by sharing it, you have seen me on my worst day. Everyday from here on out will be the better part of my story. They will be the days that define me.

THE SONG

Never Coming Home by Scott Wilcox

VERSE 1

You could see December’s cold by the frost on my window.

With one door slam I was a man at 12 years old.

When the car drove off that night I didn’t know if I’d be alright

In a single night I would watch my life unfold.

CHORUS

I don’t know how I can look into your eyes and tell you that he’s never coming home

I tell you now, I was so surprised he could leave us here to face the world alone.

He’s never coming home.

VERSE 2

With the breaking of the dawn, life still rolls along

Step by step we peel the pain away.

Then a new love saunters in and life begins again.

But in your heart there’s still a part that says,

CHORUS

I don’t know how I can look into your eyes and tell you that he’s never coming home

I tell you now, I was so surprised he could leave us here to face the world alone.

He’s never coming home.

BRIDGE

I gotta find a way outta here, a place where I belong.

Gotta go where my mind is clear, to find the piece that’s gone.

CHORUS

I don’t know how I can look into your eyes and tell you that he’s never coming home

I tell you now, I was so surprised he could leave us here to face the world alone.

He’s never coming home.




There are three parts to this song. The verses tell of my experience and my pain through this horrible night.

The chorus is my mother’s reaction after my father has left. Her first thought being, “How am I going to tell the children that their father is never coming home?” and the bridge are what I assume my father was thinking during this whole ordeal. Songwriting is a very personal art. Some choose to write songs that appeal to the masses by making vague statements about life or vanilla life experiences. But life is not that way. Life is personal; it’s real. I believe people are smart enough to hear my personal stories and songs and still find a way to relate to them, and maybe even learn from them. Maybe it means that I won’t be famous, but fame without anything real to grab on to isn’t worth it to me. I’d rather just be there to shae another song or two. I promise every blog from here on out will be more uplifting and thought provoking. Thanks for taking the time to be a part of my story.




BIO:

Scott Wilcox is a singer-songwriter from Wisconsin. He has sang his song called, When You Know Better, live on Oprah Winfrey’s Lifeclass Show in 2011, won the Bob Dylan Days Songwriting Award in 2012 & 2013, and sang in a Superbowl commercial with Seal in 2017 called Superbowl Babies Choir. He performs hundreds of live performances each year. You can see his entire schedule at www.scottwilcox.com. If you would like to book Scott Wilcox for a live performance email songwriterscotwilcox@gmail.com